Jennifer Martin » Jennifer Martin http://jennifermartin.com.au Just another WordPress site Tue, 29 Oct 2013 09:04:24 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=3.8.35 a poem about listening http://jennifermartin.com.au/blog/poem-listening/ http://jennifermartin.com.au/blog/poem-listening/#comments Thu, 17 Oct 2013 05:46:55 +0000 http://dev.jennifermartin.com.au/?p=399 please, just listen when i ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what i asked. when i ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why i shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings. when i ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem you have failed me, strange as that may seem, listen! all i asked was that you listen, not to talk, or do… just hear. advice is cheap; twenty-five cents will get you both dear abby and billy graham in the same newspaper, and i can do that myself. i’m not helpless. maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless. when you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy but when you accept, as a simple fact, that i do feel no matter how irrational, then i can quit trying to convince you and get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling. and, when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and i don’t need advice. irrational feelings makes sense when we understand what’s behind them. please listen and just hear me, and if you want to talk wait a minute for your turn, and i’ll listen to you. written by ray houghton, m.d.

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]]> please, just listen
when i ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice,
you have not done what i asked.
when i ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me
why i shouldn’t feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.
when i ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do
something to solve my problem
you have failed me, strange as that may seem,
listen! all i asked was that you listen,
not to talk, or do… just hear.
advice is cheap; twenty-five cents will get you both
dear abby and billy graham in the same newspaper,
and i can do that myself. i’m not helpless.
maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
when you do something for me that I can and need to do
for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy
but when you accept, as a simple fact, that i do feel
no matter how irrational, then i can quit trying to
convince you and get about the business of
understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.
and, when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and i don’t
need advice. irrational feelings makes sense when we
understand what’s behind them.
please listen and just hear me, and if you want to talk wait
a minute for your turn, and i’ll listen to you.

written by ray houghton, m.d.

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]]> http://jennifermartin.com.au/blog/poem-listening/feed/ 0 LIFE STUFF – Self Improvement http://jennifermartin.com.au/blog/life-stuff-self-improvement/ http://jennifermartin.com.au/blog/life-stuff-self-improvement/#comments Thu, 17 Oct 2013 04:37:32 +0000 http://dev.jennifermartin.com.au/?p=388 Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, you do better. Maya Angelou “You must learn day by day, year by year, to broaden your horizon. The more things you love, the more you are interested in, the more you enjoy, the more you are indignant about, the more you have left when anything happens. Ethel Barrymore. Learning for me is a passion; however I didn’t know that until I got to know myself better. When I actually learned to listen to myself! High School was about socialising, friends, good times. I received average marks, I wasn’t encouraged to continue my education  nor did I want to. Once I had finished school – Senior High (I finished school in Toronto, Canada) I just wanted to get out into the world and work so I could save, travel, move into my own place and enjoy my independence. It wasn’t until my early 30′s that I found my ‘mojo’ for learning, to broaden my life outlook, to learn to ask more profound questions and see the world as I had never seen it before. After getting off the corporate treadmill, I started to study the topics I was actually interested in… a new world and a more authentic me started to emerge. I was fascinated by natural health, human behaviour and mysticism and I wanted to learn more… not really understanding that I was about to embark on the road to self discovery and healing… (Something I had to do myself first, before I could support others). Learning for me has to be inspiring, helpful, fun and creARTive! Aromatherapy was the first subject I was drawn to – such an ancient art of healing […]

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]]> Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, you do better. Maya Angelou

“You must learn day by day, year by year, to broaden your horizon. The more things you love, the more you are interested in, the more you enjoy, the more you are indignant about, the more you have left when anything happens. Ethel Barrymore.

Learning for me is a passion; however I didn’t know that until I got to know myself better. When I actually learned to listen to myself!

High School was about socialising, friends, good times. I received average marks, I wasn’t encouraged to continue my education  nor did I want to. Once I had finished school – Senior High (I finished school in Toronto, Canada) I just wanted to get out into the world and work so I could save, travel, move into my own place and enjoy my independence. It wasn’t until my early 30′s that I found my ‘mojo’ for learning, to broaden my life outlook, to learn to ask more profound questions and see the world as I had never seen it before.

After getting off the corporate treadmill, I started to study the topics I was actually interested in… a new world and a more authentic me started to emerge. I was fascinated by natural health, human behaviour and mysticism and I wanted to learn more… not really understanding that I was about to embark on the road to self discovery and healing… (Something I had to do myself first, before I could support others).

Learning for me has to be inspiring, helpful, fun and creARTive!

Aroma pic

Aromatherapy was the first subject I was drawn to – such an ancient art of healing and covered all aspects of what I was interested in, like history, nature, healing, psychology, making potions! I really did feel like “The White Witch of Annandale” blending all those beautiful healing essential oils in my kitchen to make moisturisers, face masks, cold and cough remedies, muscle rubs, insect repellents, room sprays… the list goes on. So finding the interest and passion for aromatherapy and natural health also became a part of my life and introduced me to working in the wellness industry for 15+ years which also included several years of more study, lectures and papers to be a counsellor and coach… or as I call myself a Life Stylist!

It’s never too late to learn new things and seek out what you love to do! I know for me, it keeps me interested and interesting and I can then share with others.

Zodiac
As you may know, I am also an enthusiastic, eternal student of evolutionary astrology; I find it inspiring and accurate. Of course my ‘astro’ buddies and I may come across the occasional ‘nay-sayer’ – “I don’t believe in that!” and as I explain, “it’s not about believing, it’s about understanding, it’s about reading symbols, it’s like reading a map… your natal chart is your life map and when you can read a map, you know where you’re going and the life lessons/potential become clearer and easier to co-create and navigate”.

So astrology is one tool for self discovery/improvement /evolvement and there are magnitudes of others that can support you…like going to workshops, retreats, lectures, LISTENING, meeting new people, travelling, reading, writing, drawing, meditation, watching relevant programs, movies, role play, talking…. however if you wish to really get to know yourself (yes warts and all), it’s important to find what works for you.

Just the idea of watching a documentary may ignite a new way of thinking about a topic, which may inspire you to learn more and open up a new dialogue. You may even notice how you respond to something that has touched you deeply.

Travelling will encourage you to look at life from a different perspective, it’ll get you totally out of your comfort zone if you’ve travelled to places where the English language and familiar comforts are limited; you will be introduced to new people, cultures, customs, food, architecture, belief systems, fashion – I just love to travel, it’s stimulates all my senses!

Meditation

One of the most important life lessons about getting to know myself has been learning to really listen, gently quietening my mind and listening to my body, acknowledging those unwanted thoughts, just being quiet for a while; truly listening to peoples’ conversation. Earlier, I would be eager to jump into the middle of someone else’s story and interrupt them to get my experience across, to be heard first, saying yeah me too… let me tell you… and cutting the person off – there’s no listening when I do that! So I’ve included an inspirational poem about listening for you all to take in and I hope you resonate with the poem as I did when I first read it. I still learn from it today.

It’s all very interesting this ‘Life Stuff’ and I hope to share with you on a variety of topics, so if you’re interested in self improvement, natural health and well-being along with some of my other interests like travel, design, house renovation and HAVING FUN – you might just enjoy being part of this little community.

Until the next time!

Ciao for now!
Jen xx
Your Life Stylist

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